Friday, July 3, 2009

I remember (part one)...

I remember snowy days in Idaho. Waking up to beautiful silence. Outside my window, pure untainted snow.I remember leaving Idaho many times, sometimes for fun, but mostly for crazy reasons. I remember leaving for Oregon once I had left my ex-husband. I remember leaving another time, for Las Vegas, to marry said ex-husband. We left at four in the afternoon on a weekday to go start our life together. It would be the beginning of something sad and lonely. I remember a few days after we were married, being slapped across the face by said ex-husband. I remember the moment, that moment, that I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

I remember going to sleep with the sound of the Oregon Coast seeping in through my apartment window. Smelling the cool and wet fishy air. That was absolutely a dream. I remember my first night, in my own place, at twenty-six years old. I had never had my own space (besides my bedroom in my parents house) so this was very scary but more exciting. I remember walking on that perfect beach with the tide around my toes.

I remember the exact second in time that I realized that I definitely did see a positive sign on the pregnancy test. I remember the first time I heard my unborn babies heartbeat. I was alone with the midwife. I was wearing red, a red dress, pulled all the way up over my stretch pants to expose my belly. I didn't care, it was the most amazing, breathtaking sound I have ever heard. I remember the first time I felt my baby kick hard for the first time. I was startled and it made me say "OH." I remember the sheer and absolute of child birth, 'they' say you forget, but 'they' lie! Nevertheless I want to do it again. I remember the first time my daughter said "mama" - her first word (as it should be).

I remember the first time I got paid to write. I still have that $13.00 check framed. For an article I wrote for a college paper.

I remember the night I found out that one of my dearest friends had been in a horrible car accident. We weren't sure if she would make it through the night.

I remember so many things...moments in time that stand out in my life thus far...these were just a few...more to come.

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