Saturday, February 6, 2010

Remembered Moment

Somewhere in a remembered moment, I can feel the damp air flowing gracefully in through the open screen doors on each side of me. The sun behind the stormy clouds are throwing squiggly shadows about the walls that dance and play, appearing and then vanishing. Soon the wind picks up and carries the salty air off the ocean and into my small room, filling each tiny part. I breath it in deeply with my eyes closed, hold it, so as not to lose it quickly, and then little by little and with ease, I let it out.
~
Opening my eyes they rest on a small leaf, reddened with autumn, it’s holding on, threatening to never let go, to a branch on the tree outside my window. A brisk current of chilly air invites it to fall, the leaf, obliging, releases; it sails down, down, in silence, swaying in mid air until it rests gently amongst its peers; already basking on the earth’s skin in small heaps.
~
Not far off in the distance, through the Red Woods and the Pines I start to hear the Pacific breaking over the rocks, whooshing and cooing with what seems like deep breaths, a living creature, thrashing and gaining power with the rapidly approaching thunderstorm. The cold, yawning and mysterious waters: green and blue swells breaking into swirls of frothy white caps. Its power and magnetism calls to me and I want to run to it, like a long lost companion, begging for my reflection.
~
The bouquet of salt intertwined with the purity of the promised rain and the Pine Trees becomes overwhelmingly intoxicating. I lay my head down, giving into the moment. My body melts and I feel keenly aware of every splinter of my being, I am entirely tranquil. I drift away, tenderly, hearing the sweet melody of a perfect coastal afternoon.
~
We used to play together, the sea and I. It delivered me beautiful glistening Agates of indigo and flushed cream. Its waters caressed my toes and ankles when life was cruel and gave me a sense of oneness when I felt disconnected. Its waves reassured me when I needed a prayer. I laughed in its sparkles on many bright summer mornings and envisioned my future at the tip of its beginning. My days were born and expired between its tides.
~
Somewhere in a remembered moment, I was where I am meant to be.

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps it's because the title did not grab me as especially interesting or because, upon reading it, I identified with the vivid descriptions of the ocean - which I am particularly fond of growing up near the Jersey shore and presently stuck in Missouri - but I must say: That was one of most moving writings I have experienced in some time. If your finished novel is crafted similarly (with just the right amount of adjectives and next to no adverbs), then your readers are in for a real treat. I especially appreciated the effort to make each phrase roll off the tongue fluidly and with care to evoke emotions at the same time. Many new writers, in my experience, either trip over their native tongue in an effort to create an emotional response or otherwise abuse parts of speech in excessively flowery phrasing where nothing is achieved apart from declaring the writer's own pretentiousness. You did neither here.

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